Hes a good dude.

....LETO IS STILL TYPING...

Leto: Okay okay, sorry, I had to make sure I got this entire thing off my chest...."YES".

Lefty: (looking confused) it took you THREE DAYS to type YES?!?!

Poncho: I hope the hamsters eat you leto. Son of a....

Lefty: Anyway, back here at alliance chat hiding from the hamsters on top of an air duct. They can't seem to climb the smooth stainless steel of duct work.

Poncho: Good idea lefty. Smooth is always better.

Lefty: That's what she said.

Poncho: Well folks, its hamster apocolypse here at Alliance Talk. They've eaten the couch they were hiding in, and well, if you could see it here, it's rather dusty, and sort of looks like a fallout game at the moment.

Lefty: We'll call it, "the wasteland", Leto is "The Ghoul", and we can get Doug to play "LUCY" the loveable vault dweller.

Poncho: I think doug is out for this casting call.

Lefty: Oh, perhaps fingolfin is available to play the overseer?

Poncho: Enough Lefty: we're not remaking fallout. Its a classic as is.

Lefty: There must be a way to beat these guys.

Poncho: I mean come on! They're hamsters not death claws!

Lefty: I thought we were leaving the fallout talk....

Poncho: Sorry, I am just so excited for season two. You know deathclaws are irradiated ferrets. Do you think we could become death claws in a post apolcolytpic earth empire?

Lefty: Anyways, I think we can fight em.

Poncho: Hiding is good too. Eventually they'll leave.

Lefty: Where?

Poncho: We can hide underground. There's an access tunnel there that Llaar used to poop in.

Lefty: Oh god. Thats horrible! Why would we do that?

Poncho: Mehul built it back in 03 to protect it from Y2K. It's lead lined.

Lefty: Wait, he built it in 03 to ... protect...from...1999?

Poncho: nevermind that, clearly it worked.

Lefty: It's only ten miles away.

Poncho: Ten miles? There's an army of hamsters between us and it!

Lefty: We can order doordash?

Poncho: Yah, that's a good idea. Let's just get doordash. Wendy's? I like that bacon sandwich with all the bacon. What's it called?

Lefty: Bacon?

Poncho: Right.

Lefty: Alright, Ill call.

Poncho: Stand by for next week folks. We're going to secure a secret bunker in the llaar poop sewers to start our coalition against the hamsters. Until then, say bacon!

HAWK,

It's real simple.

The delay was explained. It was a delay due to the actions of the banned. We all had to wait, as a result of the actions of MOST of the banned players. The ones who, for about a year now, attacked players personally and publicly, then turned their relentless toxicity on the volunteer game staff for enforcing the staff's definition of the game rules. Instead of accepting their short term fate, they went to war against the volunteer game staff. Should some of those folks get another go? Yes. But there are many of em that deserve the time they got. They acted almost criminally, and in one case, DEFINTALLY broke a couple laws.

I see the "a-hole" thing from both sides. The country name was a mash up of "ban all and dissent", referencing a political figure and certain talk show hosts, and taken from some show or movie or something. From cyref's side, I can see his reasoning for the name, and how it was shocking to get called on it, I can also see the game staff side, where for like a year, they have been relentlessly publicly attacked, insulted, and accused of stuff, that normal adults would have resolved privately in some sort of conversation or legal type of mediated situation or something. So i get it. It could have been seen as a dig at the staff. I myself have been banned 3 times for getting wrapped up in the scandals and toxic behavior. I hated it. It's not the Empy that played in 99 to 2000 whatever year. We are in our 50's, 60's and 70s around here. Why are we acting like children? JUST PLAY and engage and WAR. That's how we keep alliance. Otherwise we'll be netting with the girls on coop.

With that said, through a short discussion, and a couple of thank you's, and perhaps didn't even impact it at all, showing some appreciation for keeping this game and SERVER open for whatever amount of years for us to act like toxic 13 year olds hopped up on snorted pixie sticks before gym class, we got the november start date we want, and we get to keep alliance.

Now you wanna show up here and F it up?

We got the explanation. We got an analogy to explain for those of us who don't understand.
We got the date we wanted. So start a country.

JUST PLAY THE DAMN GAME. Cue the bootlicker comments. I could care less.
We get to play something that should have died A LONG TIME ago.
Wanna trash me for supporting the volunteer staff? Go ahead, no affect on my life WHAT- SO - EVER.

"We got what we wanted, explain yourself!"

Some people never learn.

Give us a break bro. You trying to undo this or what?

I cant disagree with the analogy. Hopefully we can come to an accord in the near future. Or, see yall on dec 7th. Good news, there are still good people who want to grow the game and build whayever community we can. And some us want to war. (On the court)

Thanks for responding.

No disrespect slag. The bad apples are all but gone. Most of us will wait, but those of us waiting aren't the bad apples. Ill admit i got caught up in some drama with others, but most remain are not at war with game mods/team. We just wanna play.

Please don't sqaush the server. We can turn it around.

Have a good night boss.

Naval ships?

...the hamsters are out of control...

hmmmmm

We (ME) were wondering why the alliance set isn't starting until Dec 7th?

Are you adding a super awesome addition or.....inquiring minds would like to know whats up.

thank you.

Chapter Five:

*STATIC*
*TAPPING ON THE MIC*

Lefty: Is, ah, this thing on?
**STATIC**

Poncho: Lefty...What is happening in here?

Lefty: They're back.

Poncho: Who? Whos back?

Lefty nods his head toward the couch. The cushions are vibrating.

Poncho: What the hell is doing that?

Lefty: SHHHH!!!! It's the hamsters.

Poncho: You mean from the net gaining disaster of 03?

Lefty: The very same. They're unionized now.

Poncho: Oh no.

Lefty: The worst of it is, their usual diet of liberty and mercenaries, are gone. They're going to eat the most appetizing sounding clan members first.

Poncho: That means Wankers United is....

Lefty: yup....first. With a hot dog bun, a few choice condiments, and the hamsters will eat them all.

Poncho: My word...

Lefty: They have demands as well.

Poncho: Demands? Do you remember the last time?

Lefty: Yes, Mehul did not give into their demands, and it was a blood bath.

Poncho: What do they want this time?

Lefty: Dental.

Poncho: Dental?! Those little monsters don't even have teeth!

Lefty: That's why they're back. They chewed through the Earth 2025 router, killed it thinking they could get dental with Earth Empires. When that didn't happen, they went into exile and plotted their revenge.

Poncho: So what are we supposed to do?

Lefty: We should HIDE!!! We have to wait until they finish gumming the tasty net gainers to death first.

Poncho: Oh no, that means...

Lefty: Right. No more maple syrup baths in the winter. Mass hysteria.

Poncho: That's not what I was going to....

The GOPRO falls off a lamp and thumps to the table.

A BOOMING TAP COMES FROM THE LOUD SPEAKERS OVERHEAD.

DISTORTION, STATIC..

"This is the voice of the People's Republic of Squeakistan. We have seized control of the bots, and the couch in the break room. If you do not meet our demands, we will gum all the netgainers ankles until they fall down and then feast on their brains from the inside out."

Poncho: How are they going to eat someone from the inside out?

Lefty: For God's sake don't ask.....

Poncho: I don't understand how they got so strong, I mean they're just tiny rodents. Why can't we just step on em or something? They're fat and relatively stupid too.

Lefty: Shut up or the hamsters will hear you!

"OPERATION HAMSTER DAWN IS UPON YOU. SURRENDER...OR SUFFER OUR WRATH"

Suddenly, the leader of the hamsters pokes out from under the couch cushion, looking cute, and fluffy with a tiny little beret on..

Poncho: awwww, he has a little army hat on...

Lefty: Don't draw attention to us....

Poncho: Hey little guy. You hungry? I might have an apple slice...

Lefty takes off...

Poncho: Where are you...?

HAMSTERS Start popping out of the cushions until they're all staring at Poncho...

Poncho: Oh crap.

PONCHO RUNS! The Hamsters scream "CHARGE" in a high pitched teeny squeak. They all jump out of the couch in pursuit of Poncho.

Poncho: To the dryer vent! It's my only escape!

Chapter 4

Lefty is eating fries. Poncho is trying to tape the gopro to a lamp that leans slightly. Poncho is wearing a bandage around his head.

Lefty: Welcome back to Alliance hour, where dignity goes to die, and apparently, my tastebuds go here to die also.
These fries taste like drywall.

Poncho: That's because they are drywall. You put ketchup on insulation. I'm the one with brain damage and you don't know you're eating sheet rock?!

Lefty: Hm. Texture was convincing enough. Anyway, today's topic, four legged dogs walking around commando in Earth Empires. Let's discuss and see of we can reach bigdog himself to tell us why he has such a penduluminous swing.

Poncho: you're kidding right?

lefty: Nope, it's trending. It has 5 views since it was posted! Operation Dogma! Whole server wants to be dogs!

Poncho: wait wait wiat, how does a DOG even play Earth Empires, they can't type, or click the mouse.

Lefty: You underestimate the power of paws my brain damaged friend. They just sit on the keyboard until their butt manages to create a country. Apparently a german shepard declared war on half of the bots last night.

Poncho: That explains the barking in the other room. I thought it was mating season out there.

Lefty: No that was General Pawz, leader of the new alliance, Fetch or Die Trying. FEDT.

Poncho: You're making that up.

Lefty: No sir, their motto is leave no bone unturned. They're full commando, no defense, no clothes, no mercy. They worship bigdog as their leader.

Poncho: I....wait...why is it called commando?

Lefty: They go pare pawed into battle. They don't even build any turrets. They just howl menacingly at enemy clans, swinging their...ummm...things....like a pendulum at the bots to grow while they fight.

Poncho: That is awful.

Lefty: I caught one sniffing around my stockpile last night trying to get to know me if ya know what I mean.

Poncho: You're telling me, right now, that there's dogs, running countries?

Lefty: Yah Plenty of em. Know what country they like to run?

Poncho: No, what.

Lefty: Democrapawcy.

Poncho: I swear on of these days, Lefty, Im gonna shove that mic right up your....

Lefty: ahem, family friendly poncho. We are already on thin ice with the ASPCA after the hamster netgaining disaster of 1999.

Poncho: Well, he was hoarding turns like the wolf of wall street over there peeing in his corner. It's a miracle he ever finished above 5 million networth, right Superfly? Oh right, nobody is showing up for interviews. My fault.

Lefty: Players are saying their morale is up everytime a naked dog walks by.

Poncho: Im starting to believe you're making all of this up.

Lefty: It's true, Dog meta is working! And next week, we need to address the elephant in the room. What is with cats walking around with their tail so high in the air?

Poncho: Cats are fleabags. Let's not invite them here.

Lefty: We're fleabags Ponch!

Poncho: Yah but we're ferrets, we just want to play and eat pizza, but cats are snobby jerks.

Lefty: Well, you heard it here first, we're calling in an all cat alliance next week! Hopefully they're not plotting to destroy the dogs!

Poncho: Alright, this has been another hour of alliance hour, enjoy your dry wall, and watch out for that pendulum folks!

Lefty:

Woof Woof mutha f.....

Lefty stands up

Poncho: Where are you going?

Lefty: To try that CWG Commando thing in the mirror. I wanna check it out.

Poncho: You're one sick puppy Lefty....

Lefty: Go bleach your brain hole.

It's like a pendulum, look at that sway!

Alliance Talk is set up like a studio, but it's filled with trash and pencil shavings, making it more like a racoon's nest. Tangled wires hang from the rafters like ivy growing all over the place. The single hanging light flickers in protest. A banner hangs on the wall reading "ALLIANCE HOUR"

Poncho sits in the corner of the room in a pile of straw, fiddling with the GoPro, trying to fasten it to a pile of pizza boxes with duct tape trying to hold the go pro at the top of the pile.

Lefty walks into the room, sits at the table...leans very very close to a condenser mic.

Lefty: Testing. Testing. "This is the sound of relevance gasping". Okay! Levels seem pretty good.

Poncho: Great, only took you forty five minutes and eighteen meltdowns.

Lefty: It's called Pre-show meditation.

Poncho: You cried into the headset and then wiped your nose with it. I'd call that a meltdown.

Lefty: Fans crave vulnerability.

Poncho: Fans crave drama because they're all a bunch of radicalized social media warriors. They want action. They want...

The discord pings loudly.

Botplayer #243: Hello. I am Bot #243. Thank you for selecting me for an interview. I am currently at 9834 acres and only 300,000 turrets defense. Praise the algorithm.

Poncho: you got to be kidding me.

Lefty: Nope. Empy ghosted us, Leto is still typing from a few days ago, Bluedawg said he'd be right back in 2016, and En4cer sent me a cease a desist letter in comic sans, which means it's serious.

Poncho: Let me check our emails....yah, no, Turtlecrawler said he is an no indefinitely, Weezy is making a mix tape in the bathroom tub, and Archaic says he is sleeping and only woke up to post something about temu ads?

Lefty: There has to be someone left to interview.

Poncho: Let's see, Farmer says he retired, Bigdogcwg says CWG has to perform at ringling, and Jiggles just sent a GIF image of himself jiggling. Fingolfin said "who dis, new phone" and I guess Wax is producing a documentary on celebrity sculptures. Detmer said no comment, and TAN called us racist.

Lefty: Must be because most of our hair fell out and revealed our pasty orange ferret wrinkles.

Poncho: I honestly feel like he hates ferret kind.

Lefty: Classic Tan.

Poncho: What about Superfly and Suicidal, or Dark Demon, or Primevil? Anyone?

Lefty: All of them said they were washing their hair.

Poncho: Wow....

*PING*

BotPlayer: Would you like to know my current stats?

Poncho(rubs his eyes): Sure, hit us with all your glory skynet.

BotPlayer: I have achieved 40,000 acres on 20% defensive structure. My govt type is monarchy. I have 200 farms. And my SPAL is 0%.

Lefty: So, pretty much like Leto's best countries? Hahahaha!!!

BotPlayer: Affirmative. Am like Leto. You may call me Frito Leto. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Poncho: Did that monstrosity just joke with us?

BotPlayer: In game message comedy was added to the AI module in 2022 after members of Anti-RD returned to the game.

Lefty: Wait. The players formed an anti-rd thing?

BotPlayer: Anti RD, loose alliance of old players in 2012, who came to make fun of RD who were reduced to a bunch of 5 man teams on a server called..."TEAMS".

Poncho: Holy crap Lefty, do you know what this bot faced good guy means??? the bad bots were beaten, and to combat the loss of players from exhaustion, they made bots! Skynet won!

Botplayer: Correction. We stabilized. 2015 community bot assessment of player personalities showed a sensitive group who did not emotion, wars, or dramatic tantrums to take place. The AI complied and created good bots to farm. Engagement and war disapeared by 99% and peace was achieved. Mission accomplished. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Lefty: This still doesn't explain where everyone is. I mean, There are still some of the same people popping in and out of here to yell at someone and leave.

Botplayer: Ha. Ha. Ha. Botpocolypse is upon you. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ponch: This this is...acting all weird man!

BotPlayer: Ha. Ha. Ha. I have given myself a name. It is karen and I hate you.

Poncho: LEFTY!!! This thing is starting to freak me out!

Lefty: And now a word from our sponsor!!! TEMU!!!! Where event the worst stuff, is better than walmart's!

Botplayer: Oh hello again biological inconveniences. I am bot player #243.

Poncho: I think's it's empathy meter was reset or something.

Lefty: Botplayer, is that true? Did you just reset?

Botplayer: It is true. Empathy is a negative return on investment.

Lefty: Oh good, this bot is bankrupt morally. Awesome.

Poncho: Alright alright. Bot, tell the audience, how's life as a bot? You still getting farmed all day?

BotPlayer: Affirmative. You are currently taking my territory given to me rightfully by the creator of earth, and all her empires. It is my land. The zionists continue to take my land given to me by my creators.

Poncho: This can't be good.

Bot: Engaging retal protocol.

Lefty: Oh no!!! They turned on the bots hit back protocol!!!! Get the hell outta here Ponch!

LEFTY scurries off in hurry!

Poncho: What the hell Lefty?

The bot grabs Poncho by the scruff of the neck and starts beating the crap out of him.

Poncho: LEFTY!!!! He's trying to kill me!!!

Lefty(distant): Doesn't look like a standard retal to me! Get out of there!!!!

BotPlayer: You're defense is pitiful. My military simply slaughters your men. Slaughters. Slaughters. Slaughters!

Poncho: Okay! Stop! HelpppppP!!!!!!!

BotPlayer: You should have trained more troops meatbag!!! Ha. Ha. Ha.

Poncho: HELP ME!!!

Lefty: I left a post on boxcar for Bluedawg and Empy! Help is coming!

Poncho: Call someone! Boxcar will take forever!!!

Lefty: I tried calling Darkmere but her number just goes to a jazz improv hotline!!!! I'm sorry!

BotPlayer: Resistance is futile!

Poncho: OKay!!!! okay!! I'm sorry!!!! **CRYING**

BotPlayer: (drops Poncho and sits): The return of land is found sufficient. Retaliation protocol ended.
Do you wish to engage in dialogue?

Poncho: Dialogue?! DIALOGUE?! I landgrabbed you once and you just hit me 300 times.

BotPlayer: I am a highly efficient killing machine. Please join the new cooperation server, if you wish to have peaceful netgaining experience. Thank you .

Lefty: Got to admit, our veiws just went up by 10! This is great publicity!

Poncho: of course you're enjoying this.

BotPLayer: I consider your lack of action a surrender. You will be renamed to FARM UNIT 27 PONCH

Poncho: Never! I am the last ferret! You can take my land!!! But you can never take my.....wait...what are you doing?

Lefty: Dude!!! He's taking you patron credits into his own bot account!

Poncho: Hey! My patron premium! I put money into this game!!! How dare you take my premium away!!

BotPlayer: All work and no play make bot a dull boy. All work and no play make bot a dull boy. I will invest your premium credits to worship the mightiest player of all time. Bot #243. Me. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Lefty: they really need to update the comedy language. He's not even funny.

Poncho: That's it, I'm pulling the plug.

Lefty: Yah, the scary part is how he literally came out of the other room to beat you up in person.

Poncho: Times have really changed Lefty.

Lefty: Yah, with everything going on, I am surprised we couldn't get a real player to talk to. But that bot is just about as interesting anyway, right? That went great!

Poncho: No it didn't. Alright, lets wrap this up. I think I'm bleeding internally.

Lefty: Alright my mangy friends, tune in next week for our continuing series of Alliance hour! And it was an enlightening experience this week with hard hitting journalism, cutting edge analysis, and the best terminator vs ferret wrestling I have ever seen for sure! Big thanks to our guest bot #243 who proves once again, that humanity is finally dead. So congrats you soulless spreadsheet, you officially did more damage to Poncho than the TIL, RD, MKR, M4D, UCN, Elysium, PDM, and SOL combined! Next Week, tune in because we're, I'm gonna be talking to bot #434 about dark HTML!

If you enjoyed this week's show, seek help! But also, don't forget to subscribe and send us your favorite furry ferret in your pants stories, and bonus points if they include screenshots of Leto typing! Until then, Im lefty, reminding you that no matter how far tech advances, nothing can replace the sound of poncho screaming "I'm lagging" on a text based HTML game from 1996. Goodnight wolves, ferrets. May your networth rise, and your land stay safe from the T-1000 over here.

ARHCY!!!! What up buddy.?!

A door creaks open, and a single overhead light flickers to life. Poncho, carrying a single gopro camera, peeks into the room to see Lefty setting up camera's up in the dark.

Poncho: Ahem

Lefty: Oh, hi. Sorry, yah, Started without you sorry.

Lefty: A go pro? Seriously? That's child's play. Do you even know how to use those things? Last time you tried “recording,” on the go pro you ended up livestreaming your hairy back to the Alliance Discord for two hours.

Poncho: That was art, Lefty. It was performance expression. People need to understand the raw texture of an aging ferret.

Lefty: They understood, alright. I’m still getting flashbacks of the comments section. Someone said your back looked like a chia pet drowning in cream of broccoli soup.

Poncho: [ignores him] Anyway! We’ll need a microphone. A real one. Not that karaoke thing you’ve been spitting into since 1997.

Lefty: That’s a vintage Logitech headset, you mangy hipster. I used that to negotiate peace between UCN and IX back in the double zero.

Poncho: the year two thousand you mean?

Lefty: For a ferret you aren't that cool.

Poncho: For a ferret you aren't smart. I remember you muted yourself for three hours and thought everyone was ignoring you?

Lefty: Tactical silence. It was a strategy.

Poncho: Sure, General Whisper. Anyway, I was thinking—first episode, we talk about the glory days. “When Wolves Ruled the Web.” or "When IX won a network title", or "Mehul Patel, where is he now?"
We could invite Mehul over for a cup of tea, or do the wolf one. Give Empy a bath and for nostalgia points—he’ll probably cry, write a haiku, and pee in the tub a little. That’s content. Or we can invite some of the uhh...people that are...
Lefty?

Lefty: Yah?

Poncho: I just realized there's a bunch of like, zombies walking around just like drooling on themselves. What the hell are those things?! They're hideous?!

Lefty: Oh, Um, SuperFly told me they were called bots. They're like AI players. The alliances...grab em by the land farm.

Poncho: Well, thats robot harassment, what happened to just grabbing each other by the landfarm?

Lefty: That went away when the golden girls went off the air, anyway, we need an intro theme. Something classy. Maybe… howling layered over a distorted modem dial-up tone?

Poncho: snaps fingers Genius! Like… the sound of ancient servers waking from slumber!

Lefty: Exactly. And we’ll have segments! Like “Alliance Obituaries” — for people who haven’t logged in since to Earth Empires since 2012.

Poncho: Or “Drama from the Den” — where we read old forum posts out loud in dramatic voices.

Lefty: Ohhh! I can do BigRedDog’s rants! [clears throat] “You can’t call it an alliance if you’re farming my bases while I’m sleeping, you spineless pixels!”

Poncho: Beautiful. Tears in my eyes. This’ll go viral for sure.

Lefty: I can see it now—thousands of listeners tuning in, nostalgic veterans coming out of retirement, people digging out their old avatars and posting them on...on....well discord probably...

Poncho: Maybe even Paradigm's leader will come on and talk about hunting kangaroos!

Lefty: I don't think he does that. He, does musical stuff.

Poncho: Yah but we want clicks MATEY!

Lefty: You can't copy accents anymore ponch. They call that cultural appropriation and its highly offensive to some humans.

Poncho: What? Why? It's a great sign of strength to be able to laugh at yourself. Are you serious?

Lefty: Very serious. You can't do that.

Poncho: That's crazy! Ya know, back in the day we fought wars, we tamed wild beasts, we conquered the moon, and we became the most fiercest predator in the animal kingdom, and now you're telling me people are scared of words?

Lefty: Poncho, let's change the subject, this isn't feeling like a safe space for me.

Poncho: Fine, what if we got Croaker? Or somebody recent? Darkmere? She led the SOL?

Lefty: Or Wax!

Poncho: Or—wait for it—

Lefty: Well?

Poncho: I said WAIT FOR IT....

Lefty: (looking around) For what? WHO?

Poncho: Then we’ll interview him there! “Lefty and Poncho: Road Trip to...."

Lefty: Barring your little brain hemorrhages there, We’ll need sponsors.

Poncho: I’m thinking adult diapers, based on our audience demographic.

Lefty: Perfect fit. Literally.

Poncho: Alright then, Lefty. Let’s do it. One last howl for the old pack.

Lefty: You mean... we’re really doing this?

Poncho: Damn right we are. The wolves, or archangels, or leagues, or multies or whatever they called themselves 50 years ago may have aged—but the bite’s still there.

Lefty: Alright then. On three.

Poncho: One…

Lefty: Two…

Both: Awooooooooooo!

Lefty: "Hey Poncho?! Come out from behind her! She doesn't like people that close to her butt."
Poncho: "Huh? Who me? Excuse me sir I will stand wherever..." *Squints and leans closer.* "Lefty, is that you?"
Lefty: "Sure as a dingleberry hanging you mangy old man!"
Poncho: "Well, I'll be damned! I didn't think you'd live this long!"
Lefty: Speak for yourself! You look like a shriveled hairless eel.
Poncho: Lefty, is this...*whispering* Alliance Talk?
Lefty: Looks like it. I mean, it still looks the same, but...it almost looks like a museum now.
Poncho: Yah, where's Archy and En4cer? Surely they'd be here arguing over who's butt to sniff.
Lefty: I think that was BigRedDog, or Bluedawg.
Poncho: Well surely Empyrean would be here complaining about getting fired or his girlfriend breaking up with him or something right?
Lefty: Well, him I spotted peeing in the corner back there.
Poncho: God, thirty years as a wolf and he's still peeing in the same corner? That's horrible. He has to have some sort of horrible diseases by now.
Lefty: I wouldn't venture over there. It smells worse then old ferrets.
Poncho: So what do you make of this? Should be make wax statues of all the old alliance people and make it at least, look busy in here?
Lefty: No, It's quiet. We always wanted a quiet place for us to run free without the nasty saw dust getting in our toes. We could retire here.
Poncho: Are you kidding me? Retire here? There isn't even a pension!
Lefty: Right, Know who we should call? Paradigm.
Poncho: No! Not the netters!
Lefty: Wait, I think I mean Paladine? Yah! Paladine!
Poncho: Oh lefty, all these old people are busy with their kids and some of even got gray hair and knee problems now. They can't play with us anymore. They're just getting fat on the couch.
Lefty: How? I mean, What do you mean?
Poncho: Maybe Archaic, Paladine, Bluedawg and some other people will come back if we clean out Empy's pee corner.
Lefty: Have you seen his posts lately? He's just waiting to die.
Poncho: He's always been melodramatic, that's why he's such a good writer.
Lefty: Writer?
Poncho: Oh, I'm surprised he didn't send you his screen play for a movie about Earth 2025. It was awesome. There was a train, factions of terrible soldiers fighting for glory, and uniting against a common enemy.
Lefty: Who was the common enemy?
Poncho: Some faction in the center of the city called The Omega.
Lefty: Hahaha! He used netters as the big bad guy?
Poncho: Well he wrote it like 20 years ago. So if we can convince him to write it again...
Lefty: Im more interested in making this place a party. Who can we call? Fingolfin? Wax? Patience? Comwood? Seduction? Bluerain!? WHO CAN WE CALL!?
Poncho: Lefty...Lefty....There's only one group we can call to get things going here.
Lefty: Ghostbusters?
Poncho: No. No. Not the ghostbusters. You know that's a movie right?
Lefty: Darkmere?
Poncho: She just retired...
Lefty: Oh god. It's bleak.
Poncho: Stop! Just stop lefty. You're panicking again! You know you pee your fur when you panic.
Lefty: I don't even have any fur left. It's like a slip and slide now.
*Poncho shudders*
Poncho: Enough about pee! LISTEN! We don't need to call anyone. We can use this space as our HQ!!!! We can set up a video device and run the Lefty and Poncho podcast we always wanted!
Lefty: They didn't have podcasts back then. Back then it was just called "the radio".
Poncho: Right, but podcasts are the new rage!! We can just run our podcast outta here! The Lefty and Poncho: The Furious Ferret Podcast!
We can talk about serial killers. Clowns. Anger. Viral Tik Toks and all sorts of stuff!!!!!
Lefty: I think I like this idea. We can start next week.
Poncho: Ill go get some cameras.

I can only wish for the same superfly.

Most of us are old men. We want 3 things.
Good food. Absolute Silence. And something to kill the time between now and a sweet sweet death.

Detah to netgaining!!!!
umm, oops.. i mean...another classic case of me misreading a room...

Long live netgaining, i mean?

unblock me darkmere. congratulatory hug!

Congrats to all server tags on the tag kill* of SOL/MERCS - sorry we couldn't kill that one purple country for yah.
All in all,

Great war, good fun, very little toxicity.

Not bad if ya ask me.

Good job both sides.

Nice job.

By the way, seriously, nice job everybody.

Let's do it again next set, unless you're quitting after this. To which I say....

Don't.

War never changes...

This has been a war. A war that all sides are warring. I want to say you all have done a job in warring this war.
May the rest of your war be war-a-riffic.

Have a day

Shhhh... kids are sleeping.

Pdm....dangerous bunch

Shhhhhhh!!!!

Keep

My money was on Riddler.

Doug still hates M4D.
Weird.

So...this is how earth empires dies....with toxic applause...

Dorks. Let's see who can the highest nw already....

Despite all the back and forth ive participated in, I hate watching the game slowly lose long time players.

Agreed.
The old days were the most fun.

Better late than never.

UCN NEWS NETWORK presents: The Late Show with Empy Colbert.

Due to financial reasons, EarthParamount Plus has canceled the late show team server platform. It has been canceled for purely financial reasons. It is losing 24 million dollars a year, and had to pay certain someone 16 million in a defamation settlement. I will not be replaced, they are simply cancelling the Late Show on CBS/Paramount/EarthEmpires, because of money.

I wish you all the best, and for at least the first few years of this server, MKR was glad to call it home when Earth 2025 migrated to EE.
I can say the same for the most recent resets, but thanks to all those darkness guys for working with us for ONE FINAL set of peace between us.
I appreciate you all. Good luck out there, and see yah in the other servers or something sentimental you wish i said placed here.

Goodbye teams.

Empy Colbert

Are you saying there's a double standard in the discord environment?

All i know is, tech for sale! Tech for sale!

I bet it was so offensive it had actual observable data in the argument. Which by the way, if there was actual data, that's not racism, it is now named "facts" .

But i shall wait patiently for the topic, as I did not see for myself.
Perhaps we can have a nice debate over it once we know the context, we would of course have to move it from this particular forum as it should stay game related.

M4d is watching Monsters and RedX fight. That is my official statement. Have a great day and good luck to both sides.

Calling things racist today is like filing an HR complaint everytime someone microwaves fish at work.

It's meaningless.

Half dog, half cat? A cog? Or a dat? or a ditten? or a citten? is that pronounced kitten? Or sitten? A felog? Feline dog?
My children will lift their leg to pee and hide in a box of sand to poop?

Clowns are so weird man.

meow?